The Publishing Chill Pill
Uncomfortable but one I have remind myself to take
I’ve been meaning to send another newsletter for a while now but June ran like I was chasing it with a knife, July a long dreary struggle, August slipping through my fingers as I tried to reorient myself.
So let’s begin again
However, before I jump into business, I realize that I haven’t made an official announcement here. I am now represented by the indomitable Keir Alekseii at Azantian Literary Agency (if you are seeing this Keir, no you don’t, I promise I am working on that novel, its just giving me a bit of trouble).
Of Writing and Publishing
I am again in the caves, working on my novel. There is the light at the end of the tunnel but I have to dig the tunnel and my shovel is stuck, so we are back to using my bare hands. As a matter of fact, I’m writing this newsletter to procrastinate from writing my novel.
So, some reflections and advice for Past Rukman (hopefully someone invents a time machine and sends it your way, you sicko (affectionate, probably))
Separate Publishing and Writing. Take the publishing chill pill
The act of writing is different from the act of publishing the said writing. Writing fiction is a personal act; you are rendering what has been solely yours into page and most of the time, you are not writing it for consumption. It is intimate and while it can be an arduous task, there is a lot of joy to be found in the act of creation. It is not going to get easier but you will establish a writing practice, discover that your taste is exact but broad, and above all, keep writing. You are going to be okay.
Publishing on the other hand…
Entertainment is not an industry for the weak and publishing is no different. It is ridiculously punishing, nonsensical, and what works? No one ever knows.
Something you should keep in mind at all times; you are The Protagonist of your own story but you never In Control.
You can never guarantee an Agent, those Pro Sales, or a Book Deal. And the hardest to accept of all is, just because you’ve achieved one of these milestones, doesn’t mean you are guaranteed to achieve the others.
Writing, on the other hand, is incredibly hard but is wholly yours. Do with that information as you will.
It is going to be hard but it will be worth it.
When you set out to write this novel, you did not anticipate, expect, foresee, or prophecy the amount of times this book would reduce you to tears, both in good and not so good ways. And has it gotten any easier?
You have never been one of those writers who finds writing easy; you’ve always had to cut the words out, a kind of a twisted birth. Every word is bled onto page and some would say, then, that this vocation is not for you. It would be so easy to believe them, but you have to trust me on this; they are wrong (remember, I’m older and wiser than you. I’ve lived through things you think you won’t survive. I’ve made it to 22).
You will learn that as much as you find writing challenging, you find fulfillment and satisfaction in it. And you will learn writing is one of the only things you cannot quit. You cannot process the world without the aid of a story and even when you say you are done, you will trace the shape of the narrative until you come back to it. Am I saying you will be brilliant? I make no promises as such but you will be here. Writing, sometimes, would be the only reason you keep moving forward, and even at its most difficult, you’ll relish the craft of words. Keep writing.
Get notebooks
Get a lot of notebooks and pens that glide across them. Write badly; give yourself permission to be mediocre and terrible and cliche. You will find that you prefer notebooks with embossed prints and rounded pens with a solid tip. Record everything; from how much you loved playing DnD (!!!!) to the sad verses scribbled to capture an emotion more than a moment. Sketch. Fill the pages like you are writing to a future self. Write to me.
Rukman Recommends
I’ve had good time with reading and watching stuff so far. Here are some favorites from this quarter of the year.
Novels and novellas: I actually did consistently read a bunch of novels during this time but there are two very clear standouts for me.
Godkiller by Hannah Kaner: I blew through Godkiller and its sequel, Sunbringer in two days and am now impatiently settled outside the bookstore, waiting for the final installment, Faithbreaker. Godkiler has all the beats of a classic epic fantasy novel through a powerful, affirming and inclusive lens. It is a feat of accessible worldbuilding where Gods manifest and errant godkillers are hired to kill them. Only, one of them has a mission.
Year of The Witching by Alexis Henderson: I greatly enjoyed Henderson’s House of Hunger, a gothic retelling of the Blood Countess Elizabeth Bathory last year and had high expectations of her debut. Suffice to say, she does not disappoint. A tale about breaking free of the systems that chain you, Year of the Witching is a fierce entry into the modern gothic space.
Mammoths at The Gate by Nghi Vo: The fourth installment in Vo’s Singing Hills cycle, Mammoths at The Gate is a tender and honest exploration of narratives, grief and change. I especially recommend the audiobook; Cindy Kay brings Nghi Vo’s cutglass prose to life and it takes you less than 3 hours to blast through this novella.
Short fiction: I read a lot of great short fiction but today, I want to recommend some stories that felt strikingly honest in both emotion and form.
Ages of Man by Alexis Ames, Pseudopod: On the edge of the solar system, a robot tries to reconstruct the perfect human out of another. I find science fiction to be most beautiful when it is both incisive and empathic and Ages of Man is exactly that. Alexis Ames excels at taking you to the place where words fail emotion and they hold you there, in this discomfort and complicated feelings, with tender hands.
The Clown Watches the Clown by Sara S Messenger, Apex: The main character dresses up as a clown and lets people beat him up. Jumping off this askew point, Sara S Messenger unveils an unflinchingly tender story. The Clown Watches the Clown is about labor, capitalism, pain, the intersection between disgust and desire and pain, the need to want and to be wanted. Sara S Messenger’s prose is sharp enough to slice through you but also sings with sincerity.
Visual recs: I didn’t watch a lot of shows but one I did was Dungeon Meshi.
Dungeon Meshi - Translating directly as dungeon food, Dungeon Meshi/Delicious in the Dungeon is exactly about eating in dungeon while trying to find your sister who was eaten by a dragon. It is wholesome, funny and devastating at the same time. I will never forget it.
And that brings me to the end of this newsletter. I’ll leave you to it; whatever you are doing, I hope you are having fun.
Until next time,
Rukman